Outgoing email success

Do you use email with your clients for marketing? Here’s a tongue in cheek checklist for success.

1. Mate, all I need is your email address
‘I want to send you my email marketing material. I don’t care where you live, how old you are, what company you work for or what your interests or hobbies are. I just wanna sell to you and all your friends’.

2. Aren’t I wonderful?
Me. Me. Me, I’m your hero/heroine – aren’t I? Of course you want to read all about me. My staff, don’t you love ‘em? My business growth? Don’t’ you just care greatly? All my fabulous marvelous products and services – how on earth can you and have you lived without them?’

2. Email is so easy. I think I’ll send another. And another…….
‘And another. Wow, this email is great! I can send out as many marketing emails as I want and it costs me NOTHING!!!! ‘

4. I’ll just email everyone in my address book.
‘Whoops. How did so many people get in there two or three times? Who cares? Whoops – they just reported me for spamming. Why? They once sent me an email didn’t they?’

5. Ignore subject lines.
‘Why shouldn’t I write whatever I want? it’s my email so they’ll absolutely click it open. .Why should I waste my time trying to be clever and imaginative? Why would I want to catch peoples’ attention? ‘

6. I’ll just PDF my print newsletter for online use
‘Oh I just love my print newsletter. The pictures and graphics and formatting are oh so nice. So what if it’s 8 megs? It looks cool and I want to keep it that way’.

7. I just love those graphics. Give me more. MORE
‘Who cares they don’t show up and push my text off the email preview? Who cares that each of those little beauties are almost a meg each and I’ve got five of my lovely images?’

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